Here we are three weeks later.
21 days have come and gone, and the hurt of our failed/disrupted/whatever adoption hurts so badly. For 8 months we went to appointments to check on and see the little boy who we hoped to be our son. There were meetings with our lawyer, meals and other times spent bonding with the birth mom and her son, A relationship was formed but now gone.
There is so much hurt straight to the core and more tears than I've ever cried before.
The first days were so very hard, but we were loved on so much by friends and family during that time. We're forever thankful to the love poured out to us on those first days.
Now that we're moving forward and have returned to the daily routines, the pain and hurt have not gone away. The room that was once a nursery is now a family game room. Thanks to the help of two precious friends, we were able to dismantle the nursery and get rid of/sell all the baby items we'd been collecting for the past several months.
Though we're going about our days like "normal" Charlie and I are still hurting (sometimes it feels unbearable). It seems like the world and life are just moving on. It's incredibly hard to keep smiling and comfort others who are also hurt by this loss when we're so deeply hurt ourselves. We're struggling. I simply don't know how else to say it.
To the loved ones who are still checking in on us and letting us know that we're in your prayers, thank you big time. It means the world to us. We are blessed some loved ones who are walking this hard, sad road with us, and we realize it's a lot.
We're going to keep trusting in Jesus and clinging to Him. We know there is a reason for all of this even though we don't understand even the tiniest bit why we're going through all of this excruciating pain. God's plan is best, and we trust Him.
