What does support mean?

From the Merriam-Webster Dictonary

Support

: to agree with or approve of (someone or something)

So let's take a journey through yesterday with my cute daughter who appears to be incapable of wrong doing, meanness, spitefulness and other such behavior. 

I leave home about 9AM and Libby has finally started to accept me leaving without full meltdowns so far so good, Cilla has planned to get some of her sewing work done in the morning before nap time and a busier afternoon. By noon Libby has destroyed a drawer in her dresser, strewn toys across the landing and will not accept anything but bodily contact with Cilla, 100% of the time. Cilla is now feeling behind in her sewing work, the playroom and Libby's bedroom have to be cleaned up because we have our house on the market. During the course of the day yesterday Cilla was pinched, bit, hit, spit at, yelled at, and then told that it's "cute" that an hour's worth of laundry was strewn across the floor.  

Let's move on to the afternoon. We had a meeting at 6:30, I left work early to meet them for supper and from the time they left home to the time they reached the restaurant (15 min drive max), Libby had taken off 2 shoes, 2 braces, 1 insert for a brace and glasses. A good portion of which was thrown at Cilla while driving. The only reason that the hearing aid isn't in the equation is that she is not allowed to have the hearing aid as it is equivalent to candy and will be chewed on as such and then thrown in multiple pieces  This is all before even attempting to eat in a noisy public place - I'm not even going there.

So back to the title. What is support. I can say with confidence that while most parents can relate to this type of day, they most likely are not having this type of day weekly or even daily.  We LOVE Libby, but some days her behaviors will drive you to the edge before lunch. Sometimes all that is needed is a simple, "I can not begin to understand what you are going though but I hope it gets better." Because quite honestly from our standpoint when we here someone with a complaint that their child had a 10 minute fit and it has worn them out and they now "know" how we feel..... Yeah, no. 10 minutes are a nearly daily occurrence. 30 minutes, an hour, occurs frequently.  Trust me, we've tried all kinds of methods in modifying behavior, most with limited success. We realize that we are not the perfect parents by any stretch of the imagination but our child does not respond to traditional discipline, our child is not the latest "fix it" project to figure out why she did what she did or what appropriate punishment is, If you really want to be a support to a family with a special needs child simply be there to listen. They don't need a "fix", they don't need advice because they have most likely already received a "fix" or "advice" from a family member or "professional" on how to handle the situation and those solutions are not working or may take many, many, many times of the same response from the parents to impact the child. They simply need someone to listen and say, "I don't understand but I am here to listen."

Here is another article on things that are great options for being a support to a friend with a child who has special needs.  http://www.huffingtonpost.com/m-lin/special-needs-parents_b_1338169.html